1 Tbsp of Extra Virgin Olive Oil (California Olive Ranch with COOC Seal)
1 Tsp of Now Brand Inulin
1 Tsp of Nordic Naturals Ultimate Omega Fish Oil
Monica slept really well last night, and woke up happy. She was a little mad as I was feeding her breakfast. As I think she is getting sick of the baby food. One day at a time with that. I have supplemented her with baby food for her vitamins and minerals since her mother left in Oct 2015, as she was basically feeding her milk and oatmeal. She was still on bottles until 3 yr old preschool! I do mix her fish oil, EVVO, and Inulin in the baby food, so onward we go with that.
Monica repeated "a buh buh" back to me when I said bye bye to her after her bus driver snapped her in. First time she did it with witnesses. We have heard her say it at home a bunch of times, but that extra "good job" from our bus driver might help too!
Her bowels are pretty much the same in 21 days. The sundown fish oil we gave her for the year before the protocol, has made her quite regular. She goes in her pull up two times a day, but sometimes we catch her, and she will go on the toilet. She has dry pull ups from urine more before the protocol, and pretty soaked now since we started. However, school she seems to be going with the other kids.
There is no doubt in my mind something is happening in her gut and brain since we started 21 days ago. Sure there have been periods of bouncing off the walls, anger. I got pinched so fast and hard yesterday, seeing the bruise on my inner arm almost surprised me. Almost.
One of the aspects of this protocol is hope. It's not a false hope. It's a hope that some of the serious issues of self harm subsides. I read on another blog about the nature of being a special needs mom. And there are days that we, as parents, get so frustrated, we don't know if what we are doing causes help or harm. We keep trying though. We don't give up.
I want to share the mom's post below, because I think it is important to read for all.
Special needs parenting changes us entirely. There is no denying that. Because the truth is -- the first few years are going to pull you so far away from who you used to be that you won't even recognize yourself anymore.
You'll find yourself looking in a mirror, bags under your eyes, either heavier, or skinnier, and not recognize yourself. It looks and feels like you've aged a hundred years. Or maybe you are standing in a crowded room, feeling entirely isolated and alone, and wonder if you are invisible. You'll wonder how your world can be so different. How you can relate anymore.
It will challenge everything you know. You will question yourself. Your purpose. Your strength. You will wonder why. And how. Why my child? And not theirs.
It will challenge your marriage. Your health. The way you parent your other children. Even your decision to have more babies. Your career and finances. Relationships. And not just with people. With God too.
You will experience the greatest love on this earth. And simultaneously wonder how it can be so hard all the time. You'll get shamed for being sad. And for missing the almosts and the 'should be's.'
You'll see the unbelievable beauty that this world holds too. Almost like you've been granted access to a special club. One full of forever hugs, This Little Piggy, Santa and smiles. You'll celebrate milestones long after you should. And it will be amazing no matter when it happens.
You also see unbelievable cruelty. And it will take your breath away the first time it happens to you. To your child. You think you'll be prepared. That you'll come back with some witty, snappy comment. Only, you probably won't. You will try and shield them from evil. And then spend the next few sleepless nights wondering how you can live forever and change the world at the same time.
At first you'll feel like it's a race against time. Against their diagnosis. You'll do everything you possibly can. Your hope will be challenged. Then you'll find acceptance and realistic hope. Then you'll want time to stop. You'll want to keep their bodies small. Because the world is kinder to children.
You’ll have days where you swear you can’t do it anymore. Where you are certain it will never get any easier. That it’s going to be this challenging forever. You’ll almost be unable to picture a world where you stand still. Where you don’t have to fight for basic rights, inclusion and easy.
Yes, special needs parenting changes everything. But here is the secret that you have to learn on your own. It also puts you back together as the person you were meant to be.
That's the part that makes us lucky.
You'll find yourself looking in a mirror, bags under your eyes, either heavier, or skinnier, and not recognize yourself. It looks and feels like you've aged a hundred years. Or maybe you are standing in a crowded room, feeling entirely isolated and alone, and wonder if you are invisible. You'll wonder how your world can be so different. How you can relate anymore.
It will challenge everything you know. You will question yourself. Your purpose. Your strength. You will wonder why. And how. Why my child? And not theirs.
It will challenge your marriage. Your health. The way you parent your other children. Even your decision to have more babies. Your career and finances. Relationships. And not just with people. With God too.
You will experience the greatest love on this earth. And simultaneously wonder how it can be so hard all the time. You'll get shamed for being sad. And for missing the almosts and the 'should be's.'
You'll see the unbelievable beauty that this world holds too. Almost like you've been granted access to a special club. One full of forever hugs, This Little Piggy, Santa and smiles. You'll celebrate milestones long after you should. And it will be amazing no matter when it happens.
You also see unbelievable cruelty. And it will take your breath away the first time it happens to you. To your child. You think you'll be prepared. That you'll come back with some witty, snappy comment. Only, you probably won't. You will try and shield them from evil. And then spend the next few sleepless nights wondering how you can live forever and change the world at the same time.
At first you'll feel like it's a race against time. Against their diagnosis. You'll do everything you possibly can. Your hope will be challenged. Then you'll find acceptance and realistic hope. Then you'll want time to stop. You'll want to keep their bodies small. Because the world is kinder to children.
You’ll have days where you swear you can’t do it anymore. Where you are certain it will never get any easier. That it’s going to be this challenging forever. You’ll almost be unable to picture a world where you stand still. Where you don’t have to fight for basic rights, inclusion and easy.
Yes, special needs parenting changes everything. But here is the secret that you have to learn on your own. It also puts you back together as the person you were meant to be.
That's the part that makes us lucky.
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